Good and safe place, with good people

It's been almost three years since I first experienced constellations. In addition to invaluable therapeutic benefits, constellations have given me new and deep insights into interpersonal relationships and behavior.

I still remember my first open evening. I had read about constellations on the recommendation of my gestalt therapist, but didn't understand much. I no longer remember why I went, perhaps out of curiosity. In any case, I didn't have my own theme or desire to set up my own constellation.

For the first few constellations, I just sat and observed and was absolutely certain that everything was a done deal. I'm not generally skeptical by nature - rather quite gullible, but this was too "far out". Until later in the evening I was asked to stand as a representative. I stood as an adoptive mother and felt the fear that the biological mother would change her mind and keep the child. I didn't realize much other than that this was both real and effective. I also found that some themes affected me far more than others. In one constellation, the topic was abortion, and I cried buckets and buckets. Even though I've never had an abortion myself, I became aware through constellations that this has been a big topic in my family.

Constellations revealed itself as a source of insight both about myself and interpersonal relationships in general. I read several books (thanks to the Institute's library scheme) and attended open evenings on a regular basis. However, it took over a year before I plucked up the courage to set up my own constellation. I had a strong feeling that I wanted to set up three constellations - I knew the theme and the order, but not when it was right to do it. Every time I've set up a constellation, it's as if the theme has "surfaced" from the depths of my soul. My heart is pounding and I have a deep desire to work on this right now - as if I can't wait any longer. Through the constellations, I have experienced amazing results.

I share the most important ones here:

1. A good relationship with my mother: Both my parents are dead, and after many hours of gestalt therapy I had finally made peace with my father. My mother, on the other hand, was worse off. The constellation gave me an insight into her fate and managed what talk therapy had not been able to do. I now remember my mother with respect and love in a way I previously thought completely unlikely.
2. Ready for a new relationship after heartbreak: I had loved a man for several years after he broke off contact and had simply given up trying to get him out of my mind. I had also worked on this in therapy without letting it go completely. The constellation made it possible to put it behind me, and I'm now with a wonderful man.
3. Strength to let my son have a relationship with his father: Constellations - both my own and others' - have given me deep respect for our need for both parents - regardless. This is how I have managed to encourage my son in his desire to have a relationship with his father. It may sound trivial, but for me it's a big step that seemed completely unthinkable before.

I've always been "a seeker", but not much of what I've spent time and effort on I consider universally right for all people. Constellations, however, is something I sincerely believe everyone can benefit from - both for their own therapy and for understanding fundamental dynamics in families, organizations and other systems. It is, without doubt, what has contributed most to my own development in recent years.